Take It Or Leave It

"The last time I said 'I love you' I really didn't mean it at all.It was just a word."-The Lashes

I hate to say that's true but it is.You wouldn't be so vengeful to me if you really loved me.I'm sorry that I broke your heart but I'm 14.I can't be pressured physically and emotionally.I've never been in love and before you I never even had a boyfriend.It's just not fair to lead you along when I KNOW I don't feel the same.You could have done more for me.You could have told me you smoked pot instead of hiding it.You could have taken me out on fucking date!Three months and all you did for me was smother me in unwanted affection that was only established to make YOU feel better.I can't take care of you.Maybe I need to be fucking taken care of for once.Almost every weekend you asked me to hook up with you when you knew I wasn't ready for that.No wonder I felt like you were using me.You blatently told me last night you liked me because I'm pretty.That's not shallow?I can't be this scene girl with multi colored hair.I can't follow you around to make you feel better about yourself.I can't just suck you off when you want it.


I'm sorry about that rant.This week was a real eye opener for me.I need to further more discover who my real friends are.Atleast I'll always have my darling Rosemary.My bestie for life.

And I would also like to say that maybe I would rather sleep with Patrick Wolf then my ex like he said I would.Want to know why?Because I've had a longer conversation with him then I ever had with you in the past 3 months.I really love you.


You're never coming in my eye.